The Friday Funnies – Flying Cow Edition

Friday Funnies jpg

Flying Cow

• A Pastor, Priest and Rabbi Walk Into A Bar …

Pastor, Priest & Rabbi

• Pilates Of The Caribbean

Screen Shot 2015-05-10 at 12.27.56 PM

• Irish Turf
(Hat tip: “Ol’ Petrol Head”)
Irish Turf

Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf.
Jimmy said, “I’m gonna do dat when I win da lottery.”
“What’s dat den?” asks Mikey.
“Send me lawn away to be mowed.”

• Seems Legit
(Hat tip: “B-Squared”)

Seems Legit

• Becoming a Vegetarian …
(Hat tip: Steven Hayward)
Screen Shot 2015-05-17 at 6.20.53 AM

• The Road To Success
(Another bow of the bowler to Steven Hayward)

Screen Shot 2015-05-17 at 6.22.00 AM

… which segues to …
• Why Women Live Longer Than Men, The Continuing Series
(Hat tip: “B-Squared”)

ATT00011

… which brings us to …
• The Blonde Joke du Jour
(Hat tip:”Ol’ Petrol Head”)
blonde jokes-sm

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, ‘I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!’

… next up …
The Lawyer Joke du Jour

Shark-Attorney

Brought to us this week by the Law Offices of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe

Question: Do you know how to save five drowning lawyers?
Answer: No. Reply: Good!

• The Old Cowboy
(Hat tip: “Ol’ Petrol Head”)

wop, 8/7/08, 4:36 PM,  8C, 5802x7670 (197+246), 100%, Default Settin, 1/100 s, R49.5, G33.8, B42.7 An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he’s finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he’d had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball.

The barber replied, just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.

• Separated at Birth
(Hat tip: Steven Hayward)

Hitlery Separated at Birth

• Church Bulletin Bloopers

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary.

• Random Thoughts by Hugh Jass
(Hat tip: “B-Squared”)

Hugh Jass

I had amnesia once — maybe twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic!

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

My weight is perfect for my height — which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

How can there be self-help “groups”?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.

Is it me — or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

• Problem Handling:
tumblr_no3ipbhD3C1qinrtgo1_250

… and that brings us to …
• I Worked For This Guy Once
(The continuing series)

brainstorm

• Have you had your soup today?

Vowel Movement

• Before Walmart …

Before Walmart

… and that, naturally, brings us to …
      (DRUM ROLL)
• This Week’s Walmartian!

walmartian

• The Walmart Car Show

Car Show

• Freaks of Fast Food – Richie Rich McDonald’s Edition

Screen Shot 2015-05-22 at 6.17.46 AM

… and with that, for this Friday …

That-s-All-Folks

One Comment

Add yours →

  1. Thanks again for the smiles and laughs. I think I am related to the problem solver…

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: