The Friday Funnies – Spring Is Here Edition

Friday Funnies jpg

“B-Squared” curated many of the images used here today.

Spring Is Here!

(This one serves as the Groaner du Jour)

Wet my plants

… speaking of groaners:

Groaner

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This Week’s Walmartian

Walmart-always

Walmartian4.8

Blonde Joke du Jour, Walmart Edition

blonde jokes-sm

Blonde Joke du Jour

The Walmart Car Show:

Walmart-Car-Show

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You Can’t Make This Stuff Up: 

Woman Calls 911 Over Wrong Pizza Order (Video)

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up, Continued:

real_911_calls_where_people_totally_mistinterpreted_an_emergency_altogether_640_03

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Why Women Live Longer Than Men:

(You have to wonder “What were they thinking?!?!)

Why women live longer than men

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LittleRedRidingHood

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monkey iphone

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One of «Louis la Vache’s» relatives …

hurdles

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mozart-procrastinating-

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From the No S**† Sherlock File:

Newspaper headlines

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Reverse Psychology

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Lawyer Joke du Jour

Shark-Attorney

(Hat tip: Unkle Jerry)

A father told his 3 sons when he sent them to the university: “I feel
it’s my duty to provide you with the best possible education, and you do not
owe me anything for that. However, I want you to appreciate it. As a token,
please each put $1,000 into my coffin when I die.”

And so it happened. His sons became a doctor, a lawyer and a financial
planner, each very successful financially. When their father’s time had
come and they saw their father in the coffin, they remembered his wish.

First, it was the doctor who put ten $100 bills onto the chest of the deceased.
Then, came the financial planner, who also put $1,000 there.
Finally, it was the heartbroken lawyer’s turn.He dipped into his pocket,
took out his checkbook, wrote a check for $3,000, put it into his father’s
coffin, and took the $2,000 cash

He later went on to become a member of Congress…

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In a related vein, “Joe P” and “Dr. Mc” bring us this tale of …

The Priest and the Golfer

A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, “We’re about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?” The first guy said that he wasn’t much for betting, but agreed to the terms.

The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.

As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00. He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers. The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.

The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money. The Priest said, “You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings.”

The pro said, “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

The Priest said, “Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I’ll marry them.”

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Snark du Jour

Snark du Jour

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New, from The Peoples Republic of Berserkeley

Buddha Patch

… which brings us to …

Vegan Butcher Shop

Vegan Butcher Shop

… which in turn brings us to …

Bacon Seeds

Bacon Seeds

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Dawgznkatz

(Hat tip: “Cousin Mary”)

Dawgznkatz

… with that for this Friday …

That's All

4 Comments

Add yours →

  1. jack darnell 08/04/2016 — 07:33

    Again thanks for the laughs. Liked the dog resisting the bath, bacon seeds and especially the ‘No shit Sherlock’!
    have a good weekend!

    Like

  2. I would love to find some Bacon Seeds.

    cheers, parsnip

    Like

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