The Friday Funnies – Why Parents Drink Edition

Friday Funnies jpg

Hat tip to “Joe P” for supplying the lead item today.

Why Parents Drink

Teen boys bedrooms

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’ s not only the passion…Dad she’s pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone.
We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can
get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house.

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card that’s in my center desk drawer.

Call me when it’s safe to come home.

–00OO00–

• How Was Your Monday?
(Hat tip “Ol’ Petrol Head” for the series)

How was your Monday

… which is closely related to …
• Why Women Live Longer Than Men
(With thanks to “B-Squared” for this continuing series)

Why Women Live Longer...

We can also thank “B-Squared” for:
• Questionable Names

Questionable Names.png

• Snark du Jour

Snark_roll_your_eyes

• Groaner du Jour

Corsican_pun

• Blonde Joke du Jour – Where a Blonde puts freezer bags:

Blonde winking

Blonde_Freezer_bags

… which connects us to …

Plastic bag

• Lawyer Joke du Jour

lawyer-shark

 

 

 

 

Lawyer Cartoon-Eeny,Meeny

• Wedded Bliss

#1 Cause

 

 

 

 

ATT00004

which segues to

ATT00012

• Red Neck Bar-b-que

bbqing121
… which brings us to …
• Morning Eggs, Hangover Style

Egg_hangover

–00OO00–

… and NOW! Here comes …

This Week’s Walmartian!

Walmart-always

Walmartian Split Decision

The Walmart Car Show

Walmart Car Show

Shane, the Walmart Deli Clerk

Shane_Walmart_Deli_Clerk

–0O0–

Speak_Walmart

–00OO00–

• Separated at Birth

Separated_at_birth_Nancy_P._Lousy

• Good Question:

Psychic_lottery

• Mexican Word of the Day

mexican-word-of-the-day-juicy

That’s all the damage we can do for this Friday, so …

That's All

One Comment

Add yours →

  1. Jack Darnell 22/07/2016 — 07:30

    Thanks for today’s smiles!!! Have a good weekend!

    Like

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