Hat tip to “A. Nonymous” for this!
Cheeto Face and Old Hitlery (®™ DNC) go into a bakery together while campaigning.
As soon as they enter the bakery, Old Hitlery steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket.
She says to Cheeto Face, “See how clever I am? The owner didn’t see anything and I don’t even need to lie. I will definitely win the election!”
Cheeto Face says to Old Hitlery, “That’s the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life. You are all about trickery and deceit! I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result.”
Cheeto Face goes to the owner of the bakery and says, “Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick!”
Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry.
Trump swallows it and asks for another one.
The owner gives him another one.
Then Cheeto Face asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, “What did you do with the pastries?”
Trump replies, “Look in Old Hitlery’s pocket!”…
Contributors today: “B-Squared” and “A. Nonymous”
If Old Hitlery wins, here’s the new first lady:
Pantsuit High Fashion:
… which brings us to:
It is odd how this works:
With a forward by Antonin Scalia
And now, in closing:
My New Reality
It seems that lately my life has been getting more complicated, and I want to thank those of you who are brave enough to still associate with me regardless of what I have become.
The following is a recap of my current identity:
I was born white, which makes me a racist.
I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which makes me a fascist.
I am heterosexual, which makes me a homophobe.
I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.
I am a Christian, which makes me an infidel.
I am older than 55 and semi retired which makes me a useless old man.
I think and I reason; therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which makes me a reactionary.
I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe.
I value my safety and that of my family; therefore I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right wing extremist.
I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which makes me anti-social.
I, and my friends, acquired a good education without student loans and no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of odd underachiever.
I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland by all citizens, which makes me a militarist.
Please help me come to terms with this, because I’m not sure who I am anymore!
And now I don’t know which toilet room to use anymore….