The Friday Funnies – Clever Travel Plans Edition

Friday Funnies jpg

We begin with a tip of the hat to “B-Squared” for the theme today!

travel

I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Kahoots.
Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.
I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I’m in Capable, and I go there more often as I’m getting older.
One of my favourite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age, I need all the stimuli I can get!
I may have been in Continent, but I don’t remember what country that was in. It’s an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.

in other travel news …
• An Irishman Was Seated Next to a Mormon On An Airplane …

mormon-seated-irishman-flight-london

Which brings us to

take-a-hike

Boss to employee: “Do you like sex?”
Employee: “Well, duh!”
Boss to employee: “Do you like to travel?”
Employee: “Yes, why?”
Boss to employee: “Because I want you to take a f***ing hike!”

next up
• Three Entrepreneurs …

man-whistling

… were forming a new business. The first one put up 80% of the money and announced to the other two that, because of the size of his stake in the new business, he would be the Chairman of the Board and CEO. The second put up 15% of the money and told the other two that because of the size of his stake in the business, he would be the Chief Operating Officer. The third, who put up the remaining 5%, said, “Now wait a minute! I’ve got a stake in this operation too! You two have grabbed the biggest jobs, what does that leave for me?”
To which the first one replied, “You can be the Vice-President of Sex and Music!”
“The Vice President of Sex and Music? What does that mean?!”
“That means when we want your f***ing opinion, we’ll whistle!”

… and that connects us to our …
• Snark du Jour

when-i-want-your-opinion

• Blonde Joke du Jour

Blonde winking

so-blonde

which brings us to our
• Lawyer Joke du Jour
Brought to us today by …
law-office

lawyer-cartoon

• Groaner du Jour

glockamole

which brings us to
• The Journal of Healthy Eating
(Hat tip: “B-Squared;” take it away, Steven Hayward!)

-00OO00-
We won’t keep you in suspense any longer … here is …

This Week’s Walmartian!

Walmart-always

walmartian

The Walmart Car Show

walmart-car-show

-00OO00-

• What Are Your Skills?

what-are-your-skills

• Questionable Names

questionable_names-destinee_hooker

• How Was Your Monday?

how-was-your-monday

• Why Some Men Live Longer Than Women

why-some-men-live-longer-than-womenjpg

with THAT acrophobia-inducing item, for this Friday, we’ll say

That's All

2 Comments

Add yours →

  1. HYSTERICAL!!!!

    Like

  2. Love the break from the election !
    Thank You.

    cheers, parsnip

    Like

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