Hat tip to “Chris-to-Fear” for this!
Neither the Trumpkin nor Old Hitlery (®™ DNC & George Soros) are acceptable choices for president. Here’s a new choice!
America has a dark-horse candidate running in the 2016 Presidential Election. Except, instead of a horse, it’s a cat. And his name is Limberbutt McCubbins.
Let’s go over the fast facts:
1. Yes, he’s really running for President (he’s registered with the Federal Election Commission).
2. His platform includes the Affordable Cat Act (ACA, of course) and the legalization of catnip.
3. No, Limberbutt’s presidential run isn’t illegal, or even unconstitutional. Ever the source of loopholes, Article II, Section I of the U.S. Constitution states “no person, except a natural born citizen […] shall be eligible to the office of President.” As a lifelong resident of Louisville, Kentucky, Limberbutt is as good a natural citizen as any. Still unconvinced? The Constitution’s inclusion of the word “person” could be a cause for concern. Technically, though, the Founding Fathers should have used the word “human” for increased accuracy, which means that Limberbutt is still in the clear.
4. There could be one, tiny detail that might make Limberbutt ineligible for the Commander-in-Chief’s role, which constitutionally requires candidates to be, minimum, 35 years of age. Limberbutt is only seven — but, if you convert his cat years into human years, he’s 44. That makes him one year older than John F. Kennedy at his time of inauguration, and more than qualified in the age department.
5. And no, the feline favorite isn’t even the first of his kind, considering that his current animal kingdom competition is a Border Collie and a crawfish. A pet running for office isn’t even an original phenomenon. His precursors include a pig (Pigasus) that ran for president in 1968 and a current Alaskan feline mayor.
Okay, okay. So we know that Limberbutt won’t really ever hold office, but that doesn’t invalidate his actual running. His human Emilee McCubbins, 18, and her friend, Isaac Weiss, 17, thought it would be humorous to enlist Limberbutt with the Federal Election Commission, and were surprised when they began receiving letters about possible volunteering and canvassing opportunities that could help Limberbutt make it to the White House. McCubbins told WFPL News that she had even been contacted by a lawyer, who wanted to represent her cat on his political campaign. Weiss added, “It does not appear that they know that he is indeed a cat.”
For the American voters that are exasperated by the state of the 2016 presidential race, Limberbutt “for them, is an outlet to voice their frustrations and have a political discussion with a true outsider and hopeful Washington fat cat,” said Weiss.
The Limberbutt McCubbins Official Campaign Video: Click below or watch on YouTube
A tip of the hat to “B-Squared” for supplying many of these images:
Hitlery and Clyde
More News You Can Use:
More Leftist Double-Standards:
The Religion of Peace and Old Hitlery:
Separated at Birth: Howler Monkeys and Apostles of the Religion of Peace:
(Hat tip: “Chris-to-Fear”)
And now, in closing: