Friday Funnies – Country and Western Edition

Friday Funnies jpg

Hat tip to “Joe P” for today’s theme!

country-and-western

Top Ten Country and Western Songs of All Time:

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.
9. I Ain’t Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few.
8. If The Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me.
7. I’ve Missed You, But My Aim’s Improvin’.
6. Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dogfight ‘Cause I’m Scared She’d Win.
5. I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like You’re Still Here.
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him.
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.
2. She’s Lookin’ Better with Every Beer.

make-girlfriend-look-sexy

closing-time-52369

And the Number One Country & Western song is:

1. It’s Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My @$$ All Day.

-00OO00-

All that Country and Western somehow brought Elvis to mind –
even though they aren’t the same at all …

elvis-parsley

bacon-elvis

which brings us to …
• Bacon Awareness
(Hat tip: Steven Hayward)

bacon-awareness

• A Prayer for Grandpa
(Hat tip: “A. Nonymous”)

prayer-for-grandpa

Dear God,Please send clothes
for all those poor ladies on
grandpa’s computer.
Amen

• I Had It All!
(Tips of the hat to “Joe P” and “Dr. Mc”.”)

I talked to a to a homeless man this morning and asked him how he
ended up this way.

He said, “Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat,
my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had
TV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library. I
was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had
full medical coverage.”

I felt sorry for him, so I asked, “What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?”

“Oh no, nothing like that,” he said. “No, no…. I was paroled.”

• Snark du Jour

snarkxii

• Pun du Jour

impasta

• Why Women Live Longer Than Men

why-women-live-longer

• Ode to Miss Piggy
(This is just for you, Parsnip!” … )
miss-piggy-lipstick

pork-chop

• More News You Can Use:

autocorrect

carrie-fisher-michael-moore

psycho-path

young-police-car

From The Annals of Proper Product Placement:
(We can thank Prof. Steven Hayward for this … )

dairy

… which brings us to the Peanut BUTTer aisle at Walmart:

walmartian-peanut-butter

And now, in closing

hand-basket

hell-in-a-handbasket-poll

3 Comments

Add yours →

  1. MISS PIGGY !
    She is just the best !

    cheers, parsnip

    Like

  2. Great country song titles.
    Unkle Jerry

    Like

  3. I liked it all but loved the baby police car! LOL

    Like

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