Friday Funnies – King Arthur Edition

Friday Funnies jpg

King Arthur

King Arthur

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?…What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old ugly woman, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the woman was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the old woman. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old ugly woman wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur’s closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage and made obscene noises. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the woman answered Arthur’s question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered….is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the woman had uttered a great truth and that Arthur’s life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the ugly woman had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.

The young beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared ugly, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day….or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old ugly woman? Or, would he prefer having a hideous woman during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below..

BUT….make YOUR choice before you scroll down below.

OKAY?

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now….what is the moral to this story?

The moral is…..

If you don’t let a woman have her own way … things are going to get ugly …

… which brings us to 
• Of Men and Marriage
(Hat tip: “Gordon K.”)

  • A man was granted two wishes by God. He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa.
  • MESSAGE FROM A WIFE: Dear Mother-in-law, Don’t teach me how to handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement!
  • When a married man says, I WILL THINK ABOUT IT – what he really means is that he doesn’t know his wife’s opinion yet.

… on a related note, “Unkle Jerry” brings us this sage advice:

Never argue with a woman

that said, there are reasons
• Why Women Live Longer Than Men

Why_women_live_longer

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• Times When It Is Appropriate to Drop the “F-Bomb”
(Hat tip: “Dr. Mc”)

F-Bomb jpg

F-Bomb-boat

… which brings up the question …
• How Was Your Monday?
(Hat tip: “B-Squared”)

How_was_your_Monday

• Speaking of Monday …

Monday Lisa

• Was It On A Monday?

depressing-funny-thing-happens-

• Today’s Health and Wellness Tip:

Constipation

• Should this “car” be the subject of the next Gear Head Tuesday?

Common_Core_math

which brings us to …
• Separated at Birth – ’58 Packard Hawk and a catfish

(from the most recent Gear Head Tuesday.)

Separated at Birth-Packard Hawk_catfish

… which brings us to …
• How to save on car insurance

Car Insurance

• More News You Can Use
(Courtesy of “B-Squared”)

Parakeethappy_labor_day_merica_15ImpastaiPad

… which segues neatly to …
• Today’s technology tip:

USA_USB

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YJCMTSU

run

 

YJCMTSU-Snow

Vet

-00OO00-

And now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to …

Drum roll

This Week’s Walmartian!

walmart-always-bad-service

Walmartian-clown

The Walmart Car Show

Walmart Car Show-Colorful Cheeks

and now, in closing, we move from Walmart to

Crazifornia

crazifornia-3

2 Comments

Add yours →

  1. Hahahahahahahaha!!! Another particularly funny one!!!

    Like

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