Friday Funnies: Bi-Polar Edition

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Hat tip to “B-Squared” for today’s lead item.

Bi-Polar

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“Dr. Mc’s” diagnosis:

Irritable Foul

Happy Birthday tomorrow to “Dr.Mc”, the Friday Funnies Staff Neurologist!

He turns 13! (8+5=13) He’s a teenager again! 

13th Birthday

“Dr. Mc’s” birthday brings us to:

REINCARN

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• WWLLTM

Why Women Live Longer-1

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More News You Can Use:

stoned

Cowboy_sunset

Continental Breakfast

Counter_attack

Font

Trojans-R_US

Quotable Quotes:

Dorothy Parker

… which brings us to …

Q: What’s the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?

A: Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

• Lawyer Joke du Jour

(The current series was contributed by “Dr. Mc”, whose father was lead counsel at the prestigious law firm of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe.)

lawyer-shark

All read from book called “Disorder in Court” and are things people actually said, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the responsibility of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

• Snark du Jour

snark-eat-makeup

• Blonde Joke du Jour

dumb_blonde

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs.

She asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex, and one was named Timex

Her friend said, ‘Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?’

‘HELLLOOOOOOO……,’ answered the blonde. ‘They’re watch dogs’!

• Mexican Word of the Day

mexican-word-of-the-day-cheesehead

• Skipisms

I have a close friend who tells me he hates all comforters. Not just some. All.
Just so you know, I have counseled him to avoid making blanket statements such as that.

What do I get when I cross American literature with hard alcohol when I get home at night?
Tequila mockingbird.

If your local zoo has a half man, half horse…
…would it not become an immediate centaur of attention?

• The Friday Funnies Food and Nutrition Corner

Even in a disaster, no one wants vegetarian-vegan “food”. A Houston supermarket during Hurricane Harvey proves the point. (Hat tip: “B-Squared”):

Even-in-a-disaster

• YJCMTSU

YJCMTSU

elpasopolice_criggo

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This Week’s Walmartian!

Walmart-always

walmartian

The Walmart Car Show

Walmart Car Show-Walking Dead

And now, in closing:

Laughter

6 Comments

Add yours →

  1. I really laughed through this. My butt tightened up at the guy in the red wood tree cut. Cracked up at the Vegan food, and Sherry got a great laugh out of the watch dogs.
    Thanks for the fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bud Sansbury 08/09/2017 — 11:02

    Ever notice how diarrhea stops that hacking cough? Helped me quit smoking.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Have to say I love soy chorizo better than the pork kind that is always too fat and oily for me.
    So I would have picked some of that up. I love tofu also but not the two best items for a hunker
    down while waiting for the storm.

    cheers, parsnip

    Liked by 1 person

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