Friday Funnies – Multiple Stab Wounds Edition!

Friday Funnies jpg

Welcome to all our new readers!

Here is the cast of characters who make regular appearances here at The Friday Funnies and at our other blog posts:

• “B-Squared” – his name is a pun on the fact that both his first and last names begin with “B”. “B-Squared” once wrote a blog and now is a frequent contributor to this blog. When he closed his former blog down, we inherited the limousine he formerly provided the staff of his blog. The limousine is a wood-burning 1986 Yugo:

yugo

“B-Squared’s” Yugo limousine is now for the exclusive use of The Friday Funnies’ Staff Neurologist, “Dr. Mc”.

• “Dr. Mc” – is a Neurologist who retired from Stanford University Hospital Clinic and Medical School. As he did not want to retire completely, we gave him the prestigious and coveted post of Staff Neurologist for The Friday Funnies. As a perk, “Dr. Mc” now has exclusive use of the Yugo limousine we received from “B-Squared.” “Dr. Mc” is also our resident Irishman and on 9 September he celebrated his 13th birthday! (8+5=13)

“Dr. Mc” is occasionally assisted by “Dr. Kool-Aid,” who is a fine physician, but unfortunately drank the Obama Kool-Aid. “Dr. Mc” is feverishly searching for an effective antidote to give “Dr. Kool-Aid.” For readers outside of the U.S., Obama followers resemble the cult that drank the Kool-Aid … We pray for “Dr. Kool-Aid’s” recovery.

obama-kool-aid

• “Joe P.” is a long time friend of “Dr. Mc” and provides material both for “The Friday Funnies” and for “Jerry Mander.”

• “Gordon K.” is now retired and living in Floriduh. He frequently sends material for “The Friday Funnies” and “Jerry Mander.” In a “Gear Head Tuesday” post not long ago, we featured this sweet ’62 Studebaker Lark hardtop once owned by “Gordon K.”

• “Ol’ Petrol Head” lives in England. He frequently sends material both for “The Friday Funnies” and “Gear Head Tuesday.”

• “A. Nonymous” sends material both for “The Friday Funnies” and “Jerry Mander.” We would tell you more about him, but he wishes to remain (ahem) anonymous.

• “Skip” lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and is notorious for having millions of awful puns on hand – most of which we find to be funny. Thus any pun we post in “The Friday Funnies” is now called a “Skipism,” even if we didn’t necessarily get it from Skip. (As often as not, “B-Squared” contributed the pun …)

• “Unkle Jerry” and “Cousin Mary” are relatives who live, respectively,  in Texas and Ohio. A week ago, we featured a Jeep barn find now owned by “Unkle Jerry’s” son HERE.

• “Chris-to-Fear” occasionally provides material for “The Friday Funnies,” but more frequently for “Gear Head Tuesday” and “Jerry Mander.” We show cased his ’55 Studebaker Champion, “Uncle Tilden,” HERE. “Chris-to-Fear” pays his bills on this early iPad prototype:

Loyal Royal

Frequent commenters include “Jack,” who writes the blog “Ships Log” and “Parsnip” who writes “Two Square Dogs.” GP Cox is another frequent visitor and those of you who appreciate WWII history will enjoy his Pacific Paratrooper blog.

… with that, here is today’s edition of The Friday Funnies!

• WWLLTM
(Why Women Live Longer Than Men)
Hat tip: “Nilzeitung

WWLLTM-nilzeitung

… and that brings us to this
• Advice for Healthy Living from “Dr. Mc”:

Stab_Wounds

… which, in turn, brings us to 
• The Friday Funnies Food and Nutrition Corner

FFFANC-vegetarian

Answer: the only known antidote is a 72 oz steak, cooked rare, from the Big Texan  Steak Ranch.

• Skipisms

Skipism-Yoga

Poultry In Motion

… closely related to Skipisms is the 
• Snark du Jour

Snark-spree

the Snark du Jour connects us to the ….
• Lawyer Joke du Jour
Shark-Attorney
(The current series was contributed by “Dr. Mc”, whose father was lead counsel at the prestigious law firm of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe.)

All read from book called “Disorder in Court” and are things people actually said, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the responsibility of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.

… following the Lawyer Joke du Jour is the 
• Blonde Joke du Jour

This week’s Blonde Joke could also be the Lawyer Joke du Jour and we have “Unkle Jerry” to thank for it!

Blonde winking

*FROZEN CRABS AND THE BLONDE FLIGHT ATTENDANT*

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in an arrogant manner that he was a lawyer, and threatened what would happen to her if she let them thaw out.

Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?”

Not one hand went up … so she took them home and ate them.

There are two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren’t as smart as they think they are.

2. Blondes aren’t as dumb as most folks think.

• Mexican Word of the Day

Mexican-Word-Of-The-Day-Deliver

blog-divider

• Wedded Bliss

#1 Cause

Ex-from_down_under

returning_glasses

• It’s Gotsta Be Crazifornia!

Crazifornia

Crazifornia-purple_dogs

… which brings us to …
• Floriduh!

Floriduh!

… which segues to …
• YJCMTSU

YJCMTSU

YJCMTSU_robbery

with that, this seems to be a opportune time for

This Week’s Walmartian!

walmart-always-bad-service

Walmartian-grams

The Walmart Car Show

Walmart car show-butterfly

blog-divider

More News You Can Use:

• The Golden Years

Golden-years

• Catzndawgz

Katzndawgz-not speaking

• Internet Security, Google Nigeria Edition

Google-Nigeria

And now, in closing:

Tree-trimming

 

 

10 Comments

Add yours →

  1. I like the truth in advertising over the lawyer’s office!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. WE are still laughing… Enjoyed the whole THANG! I have gained 25 pounds and 3″ in the waist since I married my girl 61 years ago! Laughing together is good.
    Thanks for tickle-ing our ribs!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I appreciate the free advertising for my site, Packardman!! I always enjoy coming here!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks for the laughs Paul.. I’m always glad I don’t have to pick a favourite 🙂

    Like

    • Hi, Grace! I’m happy to see you have left a comment. When I see the Australian flag on the Statistics page on the “back end” of my blog, I always think it was you who visited. I hope all is well with you. Thanks again! 🙂

      Like

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