Hat tip to “Joe P.” for today’s theme.
Three Ducks In A Bar
“Say, what’s your name?” the bartender asked the first duck.
“Huey,” was the reply.
“How’s your day been, Huey?”
“Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?” said Huey
“Oh. That’s nice,” said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, “Hi, and what’s your name?”
“Dewey,” came the answer from duck number two.
“So how’s your day been, Dewey! ?” he asked.
“Great. Lovely day. I’ve had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?”
The bartender turned to the third duck and said, “So, you must be Louie?”
“No,” she said batting her eyelashes, “My name is Puddles.”
… Speaking of drinking ducks …
Now, “B-Squared” has provided us with this duck story:
President Trump is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo, when a would-be assassin steps forward and aims a gun at the president.
A Secret Service agent, new on the job, sees this and shouts, “Mickey Mouse!”
This startles the would-be assassin and he is captured.
Later, the Secret Service agent’s supervisor takes him aside and asks, “What in the hell made you shout ‘Mickey Mouse’?”
Embarrassed, the agent replies, “I got nervous. I meant to shout “Donald, duck!
Next up, “Gordon K.” brings us a lesson in
My friend Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.
Tom wanted two things:
• To learn how to invest his inheritance.
• To find a wife to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
“I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, “but in just a few years, my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.
Two weeks later, she became his stepmother.
Women are SO MUCH better at estate planning than men.
… and that brings us to ...
Daddy said he would buy me a bicycle when you kick the bucket!
The Friday Funnies Food & Nutrition Corner
• Men In Need of Female Supervision
• Mexican Word of the Day
• Snark du Jour
• Pun du Jour
• Fun With Statues
Cakes made to order at the Walmart bakery:
You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up, Walmart Edition:
This Week’s Walmartian:
The Walmart Car Show
For this Friday, we will close with this Fun Fact
(and a closing tip of the hat to “B-Squared”.)