Friday Funnies – Things Are Just Ducky Edition

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Hat tip to “Joe P.” for today’s theme.

MallardDuck1

Three Ducks In A Bar

“Say, what’s your name?” the bartender asked the first duck.

“Huey,” was the reply.

“How’s your day been, Huey?”

“Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?” said Huey

“Oh. That’s nice,” said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, “Hi, and what’s your name?”

“Dewey,” came the answer from duck number two.

“So how’s your day been, Dewey! ?” he asked.

“Great. Lovely day. I’ve had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?”

The bartender turned to the third duck and said, “So, you must be Louie?”

“No,” she said batting her eyelashes, “My name is Puddles.”

… Speaking of drinking ducks …

drinkingduck

Now, “B-Squared” has provided us with this duck story:
Groaner Alert!

Micky Mouse
President Trump is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo, when a would-be assassin steps forward and aims a gun at the president.

A Secret Service agent, new on the job, sees this and shouts, “Mickey Mouse!”

This startles the would-be assassin and he is captured.

Later, the Secret Service agent’s supervisor takes him aside and asks, “What in the hell made you shout ‘Mickey Mouse’?”

Embarrassed, the agent replies, “I got nervous. I meant to shout “Donald, duck!

Donald_Duck

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Next up, “Gordon K.” brings us a lesson in

Estate Planning

My friend Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.

Tom wanted two things:

• To learn how to invest his inheritance.

• To find a wife to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

Pretty girl

“I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, “but in just a few years, my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.

Two weeks later, she became his stepmother.

Women are SO MUCH better at estate planning than men.

… and that brings us to ...

Kick-the-bucket

Daddy said he would buy me a bicycle when you kick the bucket!

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The Friday Funnies Food & Nutrition Corner

Dessert_Island

Donut-crystal_meth

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YJCMTSU

Beer-Detroit

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WWLLTM

WWLLTM-tractor-shade

WWLLTM-Chainsaw

• Men In Need of Female Supervision

Men In Need of Female Supervision

• Mexican Word of the Day

MWOTD-chicken

• Snark du Jour

Dorothy Parker

• Pun du Jour

Hungry clock

• Katzndawgz

Cat Litter Island

• Fun With Statues

Fun with statues

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walmart-always-bad-service

Cakes made to order at the Walmart bakery:

Walmart bakery

You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up, Walmart Edition:

Homeless_living_in_Walmart

This Week’s Walmartian:

Walmartian NOM NOM NOM

The Walmart Car Show

Walmart Car Show - Batman

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For this Friday, we will close with this Fun Fact
(and a closing tip of the hat to “B-Squared”.)

Titanic Swimming pool

2 Comments

Add yours →

  1. The island stuff is too much, LOL. Love the ‘fun with statues’ and U B SICK with the Titanic pool. LOL LOL

    Yeah I had a good laugh or two. I hear that is the BEST medicine. I had to Duck at a couple! hahahaha

    Like

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