We haven’t heard from our friend Hugh Jass in a while. “B-Squared” discovered Hugh Jass’s reading list and shared it with us.
Next up: “Unkle Jerry” sends this news about a young boy who …
• Can Never Run For Public Office
(Because his name isn’t BJ Clinton … )
… which brings us to …
• Great Moments In History
… and THAT reminds us that …
“B-Squared” brings us this heartwarming story of a …
• Helpful German Who Saves A Drowning Dog
Here is a great story without a word being said … except at the very end:
A German tourist jumped into the freezing water and saved my precious little dog. Upon getting back on the pier, he checked my puppy out and told me, “Ze dog ist OK. He vill be fine.”
While thanking him for his selfless, heroic act, I also asked, “Are you a vet?”
He replied, “Vet? I’m fuken soaked!”
… “Yuba City Doris” shares with us a …
• Nice Story About The Elderly
When we get older we think differently, don’t we?
This letter was sent to the Principal’s office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind:
Dear Kean Elementary:
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 94 years old and live at the Sprenger Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it’s nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.
The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces.. It was awful and she was in tears. Her distress over the broken radio touched me and I knew this was God’s way of answering my prayers. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my ass.
Thank you for that opportunity.
• Wedded Bliss
• Mexican Word of the Day
… “Ol’ Petrol Head” in the U.K. send us the …
• Best. Caption. Ever.
(Look carefully in the grass behind her …)
… “Ol’ Petrol Head” also supplies this week’s …
• Lawyer Joke du Jour
This Week’s Lawyer Joke is Sponsored by the
Law Offices of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe
The City’s largest Charitable Organization realized that it had never received a donation from the city’s most successful lawyer. So a volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.
The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, ‘Our research shows that even though your annual income
is over two million dollars, you don’t give a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give something back to your community?
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, ‘First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long painful illness, and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?’
Embarrassed, the rep mumbles, ‘Uh… No, I didn’t know that.’
‘Secondly,’ says the lawyer, ‘did it show that my brother, a disabled Veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?
The stricken rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.
‘Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister’s husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?’
The humiliated rep, completely beaten, says, ‘I’m so sorry. I had no idea.
So the lawyer says, ‘So, if I didn’t give any money to them, what makes you think I’d give any to you?’
• Blonde Joke du Jour
AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s surgery and said that her body hurt where ever she touched it.
‘Impossible!’ says the doctor. ‘Show me.’
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she
pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, ‘You’re not really a redhead, are you?
‘Well, no’ she said, ‘I’m actually a blonde.’
‘I thought so,’ the doctor said. ‘Your finger is broken.’
• Pun du Jour
• Snark du Jour
The above is a natural segue to:
This Week’s Walmartian!
• Separated at Birth – Rachel Madcow and Frankenstein
… with that, for this Friday …