“You know you’re from California if:”
1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English
4. Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
5. You can’t remember . . . is pot illegal?
6. You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You can’t remember . . . . is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney———– really IS George Clooney.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
13. You can’t remember . . . . is pot illegal?
14. It’s barely sprinkling rain and there’s a report on every news station: “STORM WATCH.”
15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
16. Or it’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
19. The Terminator was your governor.
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver’s license. If you’re here illegally they want to give you one.
The Anti-Sanctuary Movement Begins: New “Street Signs” in El Lay:
• Separated at Birth – AG Jeff Sessions and the Keebler Elf
More News You Can Use:
“The great thing about being a liberal is not only that you get to live by double standards (flying private jets while decrying climate change), but you don’t even have to keep your story straight. Pay attention: No one is saying they want to repeal the Second Amendment. Except for the people like retired Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens who says we should. No one wants to take everyone’s guns away from them. But gee isn’t it fantastic that Australia took everyone’s guns away from them, and I sure wish we could be like Australia! We should listen to high school kids tell us about how to fix things! How dare you criticize high school kids who are speaking on mass media! They’re only kids! An oh yeah—Facebook had a bad week too.”
And now, in closing: