Friday Funnies – Wisdom From Friends of Hugh Jass

Friday Funnies jpg

Hugh Jass is the Friday Funnies’ resident sage. Today, via “Dr. Mc”, the Friday Funnies’ Staff Neurologist, Hugh shares with us wisdom gleaned from some of his friends. Enjoy!

Hugh Jass

Jean Kerr

Jean Kerr

“The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats.”

Prince Phillip

Prince Phillip

“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
Harrison Ford

Harrison Ford
“Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.”

Spike Milligan

Spike Milligan
“The best prevention for sea sickness is to sit under a tree.”

Jean Rostand

Jean Rostand
“Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror.”

Arnold Schwartzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger
“Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.”

W.H. Auden

W.H. Auden
“We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.”

Jonathan Katz

Jonathan Katz
“In hotel rooms, I worry. I can’t be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked.”

Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson
“If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.”

Steve Martin

Steve Martin
“Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.”

Jimmy Durante

Jimmy Durante
“Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.”

Jonathan Winters

Jonathan Winters
“If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.”

Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley
“I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.”

John Glenn

John Glenn
“As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.”

David Letterman

David Letterman
“America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.”

Howard Hughes

Howard Hughes
“I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Dammit, I’m a billionaire.”

Old Italian
“After the game is over, the King and the pawn go into the same box.” – Old Italian Proverb

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Moving right along now, we come to …

• WWIB – Who Wore It Better?

WWIB?-moochelle-toilet

… which loosely connects us to …

Hotel AC

• WWLLTM

WWLLTM-tractor-shade

WWLLTM-cliff

• Wedded Bliss

#1 Cause

18 carrot

Custody

Bad day-lotto

blog-divider

More News You Can Use

Curated for us by “B-Squared”

Brewtally Murdered

Geometree

Waterloo

OK Chorale

I-is-an-artist

• Floriduh …

Floriduh!

dont-ever-take-a-fence-down-until-you-know-the-reason-it-was-put-up

Floriduh or Crazifornia … you decide:

California or Florida

• The Friday Funnies Food and Nutrition Corner

Russian-for-food

Ham_Solo

Deviled egg

Falsh in the pan

your-sad-news

Bjorn vegan

… which brings us to …

I am ThorNext up …

Gloves

Roman numeral

Frankenstien-brain

Its-almost-time...

Gorges

• The Friday Funnies Technological Blog:

Get Outta My Face Book

Damn you autocorrect-dump

your-firetruck

That’s enough levity for this Friday, so now, in closing:

Deja Moo

2 Comments

Add yours →

  1. Some Wonderful Jokes today.
    Love the Monty Python one.

    cheers, parsnip

    Like

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