Friday Funnies – I Had It All Edition

Friday Funnies jpg

Hat tip to “Packard Truck Dave” for today’s theme!”

“I Had It All”

Homeless man

“All too true…..”

I talked with a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.

He said, “Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed.

I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.

“I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage.”

I felt sorry for him, so I asked, “What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?”

“Oh no, nothing like that,” he said. “No, no…. I was paroled.”

blog-divider

• News You Can Use:

(Hat tip to “B-Squared” for most of these.)

books-tablets-tablets-books

Horse-hey

Paint-dry-grass-grow

Rabbit ears

Riding-Lawnmower...

Scottish plaid

Kilt-skirt

I Fell Tower

toe-tipping

• WWLLTM

WWLLTM-tractor-shade

WWLLTM-bike_on_cliff

• Now You Know:

men-animals-pets

• Wedded Bliss

#1 Cause

Woman-argument

Software License

Wedded bliss-trap

Wedded Bliss-Clem's crapper

Wedded Bliss_Inspirational-photo

• The. Two. Best. Political. Cartoons. Ever:

(Hat tip: ” ’62 Lark Regal” – You Studebaker fans will “get” the reference.)

Honest politician

dad-im-considering-a-career-in-organised-crime

 • The Wit and Wisdom of Hugh Jass

Hugh Jass

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well … night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

• From the Annals of Redneck Engineering, Window Shade Edition

Redneck-Mini-Blinds

• Separated At Birth

Separated at Birth

Separated At Birth-Kagan_James

• Separated at Birth – Automotive Division:

Above: 2018 Honda Clarity, ’39 Graham “Sharknose”
Below: Cat with eye discharge, 2018 Toyota Prius

• Tide Pods

Tide Pods

Tide-pod-challenge

Tide-Pod-Problem-Solved

• Headline of the Day, No $hî† Sherlock Edition

homicide

• How Was Your Monday?

How was your Monday

• The Friday Funnies Food & Nutrition Corner

vegan carrot

… And now, in closing for this Friday:

Bugatti-cop

10 Comments

Add yours →

  1. these were real good one, thanks !

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bud Sansbury 18/05/2018 — 16:18

    Hell-ery and Cornholio. Perfect
    Bud

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So many good ones today.

    cheers, parsnip

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Very good my friend. Wife and I cracked up on the jokes. I liked the irony of the politician and prostitute. I felt sorry for the baby carrot! LOL

    The best your way from a tired old man in NC

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Excellent funnies! I, especially enjoy the wife humor. The software agreement is great!! I’m going to have to remember to share this one with DH. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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