Hat tip to “Packard Truck Dave” for today’s theme!”
“I Had It All”
“All too true…..”
I talked with a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.
He said, “Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed.
I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.
“I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage.”
I felt sorry for him, so I asked, “What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?”
“Oh no, nothing like that,” he said. “No, no…. I was paroled.”
• News You Can Use:
(Hat tip to “B-Squared” for most of these.)
• Now You Know:
• Wedded Bliss
• The. Two. Best. Political. Cartoons. Ever:
(Hat tip: ” ’62 Lark Regal” – You Studebaker fans will “get” the reference.)
• The Wit and Wisdom of Hugh Jass
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like, well … night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
• From the Annals of Redneck Engineering, Window Shade Edition
• Separated At Birth
• Separated at Birth – Automotive Division:
Above: 2018 Honda Clarity, ’39 Graham “Sharknose”
Below: Cat with eye discharge, 2018 Toyota Prius
• Tide Pods
• Headline of the Day, No $hî† Sherlock Edition
• How Was Your Monday?
• The Friday Funnies Food & Nutrition Corner
… And now, in closing for this Friday: