Friday Punday

Friday Funnies jpg

A tip of the hat to “B-Squared” for many of the puns and for suggesting
the title “Punday”. Also, bows of the bowler to Steven Hayward “Dr. Mc”, “Joe P.” and to “D.B.P” for other material.

One-liner

Hunch-backJPG

Justin_TimberlakeJPG

Room for 2 knights

when-you-see-a-kid-napping

• Burning Questions of the Hour:

Stevie_Wonder

• Courtship:

Car-red-with-a-horse

♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

… which brings us to 

• Wedded Bliss

#1 Cause

Wedded Bliss-don't know wife

Kiss the bride-VR

♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.

• It’s Floriduh, Baby!

(Hat tip: Steven Hayward)

Floriduh!

You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up:
Floriduh - meth-cops

Floriduh-tickets to heaven

• How Was Your Monday?

How was your Monday

• The Friday Funnies Food & Nutrition Corner

(Hat tips: Steven Hayward and “D.B.P.”.

Vegan side effects

Eat your veggies-WiFi

Kim-nuke-the-Chinese

What's for dinner

• Mexican Word of the Day

MWOTD-Iron

• Groaner du Jour

Musical_groaners

• Snark du Jour

Snark-head-heart

• Blonde Joke du Jour

Blonde-bald-joke

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.

She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is angry, so she opens her purse to take out the gun, but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it.”

The blonde replies, “Shut up, you’re next.”

It is in The Friday Funnies’ Constitution that the Blonde Joke du Jour MUST be followed by the …

• Lawyer Joke du Jour

99% of Lawyers

Lawyer joke-3-rest-are-trueMaxine-lawyers
• In Parochial School

Nun-Sister Catherine

Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.
Little Sheila says, “When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!”

Sister Catherine’s eyes grow wide and she barked, “What did you say?!”

“A prostitute!” Sheila repeated.

Sister Catherine breathed a sigh of relief and said, “Thank Goodness! I thought you said a Protestant!

• WWLLTM

WWLLTM-tractor-shade

WWLLTM-trash compactor

• YJCMTSU

YJCMTSU

YJCMTSU-cheeseburgers

• Useful Inventions We’d Like to See:

Vacuum-wine-cup-holder

And now, in closing for this Friday:

Dealing with Monday

2 Comments

Add yours →

  1. Okay, I laughed thru them even the corney one. But I liked the nuked Chinese best. That one hit me real hard.

    Thanks for the smiles, I need them!!

    Liked by 1 person

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