Friday Funnies – P_$$ing & Moaning Edition

Friday Funnies jpg

Hat tip: “B-Squared”

dog-on chain

A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady.

He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber’s house.

The phone didn’t ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system’s ground wire with a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.

4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by p_$$ing and moaning.

• Why Women Live Longer Than Men – Chain Saw Edition

(Hat tip: “B-Squared”)

Click to play:

Hugh Jass

Hugh Jass Has Some Questions:

Just Wondering . . .

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What’s another word for thesaurus?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

If you’re cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

• YJCMTSU

YJCMTSU

Has “Drive By Faith – Not By Sight” on the back of car, parks crooked in the parking space!

Drive by Faith

… and that brings us to …

• Crazifornia

Crazifornia

Nothing like riding your bike buck nekked on U.S. 101 in San José, CA:

nekkid biker-san josé

… which in turn brings us to …

• It’s Floriduh, Baby!

Floriduh!

Floriduh Chicken

… while we are on the subject of food …

• The Friday Funnies Food & Nutrition Corner

Aloha temperature

pineapple pizza dog

Banana pizza

Cook-like-a-legend

• Blonde Joke du Jour

blonde jokes-sm

Blonde-artificial intelligence

… which segues nicely to …

• Headline of the Day – She Must Be Blonde Edition

NSS-ice

• Inquiring Minds Want to Know:

Boeing-Boeing-Boeing

• Wedded Bliss

#1 Cause

Going-the-extra-mile...2

… in a related vein:

Walk a mile

• New IKEA Furniture In “Dr. Mc’s” Clinic:

ikea

• You Can’t Cut Corners on Quality!

Quality

… speaking of cutting corners:

How was your Monday-short cut

• Not the Smartest Bank Robber In The World, All-Time Grand Champion Edition:

Bob-has-a-twin...

• L’Otters Beware!

L'otters shot on sight

• Little Known Historical Fact:

(Hat tip: “B-Squared”)

Everyone knows about William Tell’s accomplishments as an archer. However, historians have recently learned that in addition to archery, Tell also excelled at bowling, a sport he participated in regularly with his wife and children. But sadly, all the league records have been lost, so we’ll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

• Your Weekly Groaners:

Bad MintonBeet Poetcheck the logs

Mayo Neighs

… and on that note, we will close now with:

Sitting on my ass

7 Comments

Add yours →

  1. Disturbed my better-half ‘s sleep by laughing so hard at the tree video!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The car jackers are smarter than people think. If average walking speed is three miles per hour, and car jacker driving speed is………..(it’s making my head hurt)……….and you also jacked their shoes and………..Where’s a blonde math major when you really need one?
    Bud

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yeah, that raised a couple of giggles… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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