Friday Funnies – Crime Doesn’t Pay Edition

Friday Funnies jpg

crime_doesnt_pay

Click to play:

 

 

• YJCMTSU – Crime Doesn’t Pay Edition

YJCMTSU

worlds-dumbest-criminals

• An Arresting Headline:

Crime - Undies

… next up in the annals of crime …

Organized crime

–00OO00–

Charles-Manson-Streets

–00OO00–

Caffeine is not a crime

 

• Blonde Joke du Jour

Blonde winking

Ms. Anne O’Dyne – The Friday Funnies Staff Blonde

Blonde stereotyping

… It’s in the rules:  the Blonde Joke du Jour MUST be followed by the …

• Lawyer Joke du Jour – Today, it’s the Question & Answer Edition

Shark-Attorney

Q: How do you kill 4000 lawyers?
A: You build a new Titanic and declare it cannot sink.

Q: What’s the strongest argument against both theories of the origin of man?
A: Politicians and lawyers. Who in their right mind would create (or evolve into) these species?

Q: If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?
A: Never enough.

Q: Have you heard about the lawyers word processor?
A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can’t understand.

Q: What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School?
A: A lobotomy.

Q: What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A: One’s a bottom-crawling scum sucker and the other’s just a fish.

Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a catfish?
A: One’s slimey and has whiskers, and the other one lives in the water.

–00OO00–

• At “Dr. Mc’s” Clinic

(“Dr. Mc” is the Friday Funnies Staff Neurologist and Resident Irishman.”)

Vasectomy or AnestheticPixilated colonoscopy

• Good Advice:

Drink and drive

• The Friday Funnies Food & Nutrition Corner

Managing Your Diabetes:

Managing Your DiabetesJPG

• California Real Estate:

burning house

• Bear With Me Now:

UPS-Bear in driveway

–00OO00–

• Wedded Bliss

Marriage Is an Institution

listen

… next up:

wedded bliss-one knee

–00OO00–

Amish-Romance

–00OO00–

• Was the waitress blonde?

A-question-about-the-menu..

… next up:

Kate and Edith

… now we come to this week’s example of …

• WWLLTM

WWLLTM-tractor-shade

WWLLTM-cliff

–00OO00–

• More News You Can Use:

Pirates of the Caribbean

Thesaurus throat

Alpacalypse

Burger-vs.-Meteor

• How Was Your Monday?

How was your Monday-no worries

• John Williams, Conductor vs. SemiConductor

Separated-at-Birth-John-Williams

• This Won’t End Well:

Not going to end well

… on that note, we close this Friday with:

when-you-ask-the-lord-to-give-you-a-sign

7 Comments

Add yours →

  1. One thing about these posts of yours – I have a hard time picking out my favorite laughs!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like the Alpacalypse and Llamageddon

    cheers, parsnip and badger

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Okay, thanks, Lots of smiles, but the sign from the Lord is best!

    Thanks for the Education on Saturday. I am a day late. BUSY and BUSSier!

    Liked by 1 person

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