Friday Funnies – Lottery Ticket Edition

Friday Funnies jpg

Hat tip to “Ol’ Petrol Head” for today’s theme.

Time to buy a lottery ticket?

Click to play:

… more Lotto news:

Dollar for a lottery ticket

Lottery millions

Lottery ticket-1 dollar

Lottery-drink-happy

–00OO00–


• WWLLTM

WWLLTM-tractor-shade

Why Women Live Longer...

… which segues immediately to …

• Wedded Bliss

#1 Cause

What you are smoking

Divorce

Ex-wife-charge account

ex-wife

Ex-wife-religion

Just after the honeymoon:

(Hat tip: “Joe P.”)
One evening, after the honeymoon, Bob was working on his Harley in the garage.

His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally said, “Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it’s time you quit spending so much of your time out here in your garage. You probably should also consider selling your Harley and all your welding equipment along with your gun collection, and your fishing gear, and the boat and lose all those stupid model airplanes, plus dump that vintage hot rod sports car, and your home brewing equipment…”

Bob got a horrified look on his face.

She said, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
He replied, “There for a minute, you were starting to sound like my ex-wife!”

“Ex-wife!?” she screamed, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”

Bob replied, “I wasn’t..”

which takes us directly to

boys-never-grow-up

–00OO00–

• Your Weekly Supply of Groaners

(Curated for us by “B-Squared”)

Chocolatey Claire

Abbey Road

Nan Wun Wun

Attire

Kleptomaniac

Karaoke

Dog on dutyJPG

Door Matt

Evaporated Milk

Hammond cheeseJPG

Mauve awayPaper jam

Upholstery

elon-musk-melon

… next up:

CaliforniaStateFlag-Marijuana

• Crazifornia – Elon Musk Edition

You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up: Tesla Employee Fired for Failing Drug Test while Elon Musk smokes marijuana and swills whiskey live on television.

Crazifornia-Musk

• Inquiring Minds Want to Know:

Meteor crater

• Your Dream Come True!

Small island

• Compare & Contrast:

Pear-Dis-a-Pear

• How Do You Vote?

Aye

• Meanwhile, at “Dr. Mc’s” Clinic

It’s quite an accomplishment: “Dr. Mc” was appointed to the prestigious post of Official Staff Neurologist for the Friday Funnies five years ago – yet he turned 14 this past Sunday. (8+6=14) A veritable young genius he is!

'Hard to say how your husband is at this point. We should know more once the bandages come off.'Cardiologist

… which brings us to …

• Tips For Longevity

Old man in rocking chair

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?”
“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.”

“That’s amazing,” said the woman, “how old are you?”
“Twenty-six,” he said.

… on that note, we’ll close this Friday with:

• The Early Bird …

Early bird

3 Comments

Add yours →

  1. Got a lot of chuckles this morning – Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Okay, I loved the Split house, “He gpot the outside!”
    We are between San Antonio and some town called Houston and the old Cummings is having fuel filter trouble. Gotta go!

    Liked by 1 person

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