Friday Funnies – Accident Waiting to Happen Edition

Friday Funnies jpg

For Mona and Brennan …

Click to play:

 

Accident-Meme

You hate your kids

Someone call the police

What I see

Who needs brakes

• No pain like wrecked exotics pain, Mercedes-Benz & Ferrari Edition::

Wrecked MBZ

Wrecked Ferrari

speaking of accidents:

Enough to make you cry

blog-divider

• How stereotypes are perpetuated, Cops & Donuts Edition:

stereotype perpetration-donut

blog-divider

Honor Student

• Please note the distinction:

Hot water heater

• I worked for this guy once:

IWFTGO-80-20 rule

Mexican Word of the Day:

Mexican WOD-Lysol

• Lawyer Joke du Jour

Shark-Attorney

When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law BEFORE the criminal gets arrested, we call him an accomplice.

When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law AFTER the criminal has been arrested, we call him a defense attorney.

• Truth in Coffee:

No nonsense coffee

• Secret to a long life:
(You’ll get a bang out of this.)

Secret to a long life

… which brings us to …

Got fired

… in a similar vein:

Hold+your+fire

• Dr. Turbodrill:

Dr. Turbodrill

your-dentist

• Why there are no baby planes:
(Hat tip: “Joe P.”)

funny-squirrel-stealing-an-airplane

A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy had been looking out of the window. He turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?” The mother couldn’t think of an answer. She told her son to ask the flight attendant.

The boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, “If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The busy flight attendant smiled and asked the boy, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?”

The boy replied, “Yes, she did.”

“Well,” said the flight attendant, “you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you.”

• If a meal between breakfast and lunch is Brunch, this makes sense:

you-call-it-sand

• Snark du Jour

When people see a cat’s litter box they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?” Just once I want to say, “No, it’s just for company!”

• More snarkiness:

Genius-Idiots

… which segues to our closing for this Friday:

Being a smartass

About the post

Friday Funnies

5 Comments

Add yours →

  1. Kenneth Felton 04/01/2019 — 01:28

    A great start to the year!
    I like the Dilbert and my Son really related to “What I see, what dad sees”.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 2019 is off to a great start around here!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. C.S. Marshall 04/01/2019 — 11:22

    *sigh*
    I morn the loss of yet another Crown Vic P71 Police Interceptor.
    *Sigh*

    Liked by 1 person

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