Friday Funnies – High Steaks Edition

Friday Funnies jpg

high_steaks

… which brings us to …

A man walks into a bar, he sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the barman, “Why are those two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling?”
The barman replies, “It’s a competition which we run every night. If you can jump up and touch the meat, you get free drinks for the whole night.”
“Great!” says the man, “but what if I can’t reach them?”
“Then you have to buy all the drinks for everyone all night,” the barman answers.
“Do you want to try?”
“No, but thanks anyway.”
“Why not?” asks the barman.
“The steaks are too high.”

… there’s still more at steak:

vegan steak

i-dont-always-eat-steak...

steak with side of steak

• The Friday Funnies Food & Nutrition Corner:

bacon-burn fat

bacon toaster

bacon fabric softener

romaine in spain

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loch-ness-monster

A Scottish atheist was spending a quiet day fishing in the lake when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred feet into the air. It then opened its mouth waiting below to swallow them both.

As the Scotsman sailed head over heels and started to fall towards the open jaws of the ferocious beast, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help me!”

Suddenly, the scene froze in place and as the atheist hung in midair, a booming voice came out of the clouds and said, “I thought you didn’t believe in Me!”

“God, come on, give me a break!” the man pleaded, “Just seconds ago I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness monster either!”

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bee-bop

aussies are british texans

• Headlines du jour:

crashed-english coast

speakup-silent

utahbabies

invisible stains

honda

… and it has spread to social media:

flat earth society

• More News You Can Use:

favorite things

in a comma

macro

• Construction News:

new-wrench

not a drill

macauley caulkin

male to female

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one_drink_too_many

taking-the-bus-home...

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squirrel gun

take thum athpririn

• Separated at Birth:

separated at birth-shiela jackson lee-bert the farting hippo

–00OO00–

We close this Friday with how most of us feel after the Holidays:

scream-weight

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