Friday Funnies – You Know You’re From Crazifornia When …

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A bow of the bowler to “Dr. Mc” for today’s theme.

CaliforniaStateFlag-Marijuana

So as not to be outdone by all the Redneck jokes, somebody came up with this:

You know you’re from Crazifornia when . . .

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 annually and still can’t afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can’t remember . . is pot illegal?

6. You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can’t remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can’t remember . . . .is pot illegal?

14. It’s barely sprinkling rain, and there’s a report on every news station: “STORM WATCH.”

15. You pass an elementary school playground, and the children are all busy with their cell phones.

16. Or it’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers, and cosmetic surgeons.

19. The Terminator was your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver’s license. If you’re here illegally, they want to give you one.

mexifornia-license

Crazifornia

• This Must Have Been In Crazifornia:

understandable-mistake-nowadays

… not to be outdone is …
• Floriduh 

Floriduh!

The first one is a contender for “You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up”:

crazy-florida-man-911

floriduh crazy

floriduh-jail

floriduh-zombie-apocalypse

… next up:
• Scottish Women

scottish women

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• Separated at Birth:

separated at birth

• WWLLTM – What Did He Expect? Edition
(Hat tip: “B-Squared”)

WWLLTM-tractor-shade

wwlltm-branch cutting

• The Friday Funnies Food & Nutrition Corner
(Today’s contributors: “B-Squared” & Steven Hayward)

sir-acha

food network-pnb

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• Blonde Joke du Jour

blonde jokes-sm

beauty tutorials

blonde-focus

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More News You Can Use:

bread-pit

renovated

wifi password 123pho56

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A Visit to the Barber
(Hat tip: “B-Squared”)

old school barber

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”

“We’re taking American Airlines,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!”

“American!?” exclaimed the barber. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?”

“We’ll be at the downtown International Marriott.” “That dump! That’s the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they’re overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?”

“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.”

“That’s rich,” laughed the barber. “You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.”

A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome.

“It was wonderful,” explained the man, “not only were we on time in one of American’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel – – it was great! They’d just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it’s the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!”

“Well,” muttered the barber, “I know you didn’t get to see the pope.”

“Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me.”

“Really?” asked the Barber. “What’d he say?”

He said, “Where’d you get the $hî**y haircut?”

• It Matters Where You Put The Price Tag

price tag-little ho on the prarie

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We close this Friday with the Mexican Word of the Day:

mwotd-defense

4 Comments

Add yours →

  1. Gary Lindstrom 25/01/2019 — 18:47

    The Ford Focus one could be followed by a FCA RAM one. I often think that if someone runs into the tailgate of a RAM pickup, they are just following directions printed there.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The ‘separated at birth’ pix cracked me up, especially the one of Hitler. lol The Blonde joke of the Ford Focus is great! And your Mexican word for the day had me laughing out loud. Great funnies!

    Liked by 1 person

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