Friday Funnies – Blonde Men Edition

Friday Funnies jpg

James Blond

Blonde Men

Wherein we show that not all blonde jokes are on the blonde women …

A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: “Did you find the shampoo?”

He answers, “Yes, but I’m not sure what to do… it’s for dry hair, and I’ve just wet mine.”

—————————— ——

A blonde man spies a letter lying on his doormat.

It says on the envelope “DO NOT BEND”.

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

—————————— ——

A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”

“Is this her first child?” asks the Doctor

“No!” he shouts, “this is her husband!”

—————————— —

A blonde man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.

“Just WHAT are you doing?” he asks.

“Hanging myself,” the blonde replies.

“The rope should be around your neck” says the guard.

“I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t breathe.”

—————————— ——

An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: “Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”

To which the blonde man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”

—————————— ——–

A friend told the blonde man: “Christmas is on a Friday this year.”

The blonde man then said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”

—————————— ——

Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.

One asked: “What if one explodes before we get there?”

The other says: “We’ll lie and say we only found two.”

—————————— ——

A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: “Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday.”

To which the blonde man replied: “Well the joke’s on all of you because I wasn’t even at home yesterday!

… but we MUST have one Blonde woman joke

blonde jokes-sm

A brunette goes to the doctor and says, “Everywhere I touch it hurts.”

The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”

So she showed him what she meant.

She touched her knee and said, “Ouch!”

Then she touched her arm and said, “Ouch!”

Then her nose, “Ouch!”

The doctor looks at her and asks, “You’re really a blonde, aren’t you?”

She replies, “Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did you guess?”

The doctor says, “Well, your finger is broken.”

• Blonde Joke du Jour – BONUS!

Blonde-blinker fluid

• Blonde Joke du Jour DOUBLE BONUS!!

Blonde-scan laptop

• WWLLTM

WWLLTM-tractor-shade

(What IS it about men and ladders?!?!)

WWLLTM-ladders

• Who Wore It Better?

who wore it better-pope

• Separated at Birth: Anthony Wiener & Squidward  (with apologies to Squidward):

Separated at Birth-Wiener and Squidward

• Wedded Bliss

#1 Cause

Understanding women

blog-divider

• Flat Earth Society:

Flat-earthers...

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Air and space museum

Beach party

• The Friday Funnies Food & Nutrition Corner

Vegan diet

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And now, in closing for this Friday:

Romaine Calm

8 Comments

Add yours →

  1. Thanks again for the laughs!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Richard (Bud) Sansbury 31/05/2019 — 05:23

    I’m sure that everyone is as happy as I am that you are back. Thanks for the laughs. Today is one of your best. Bud

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Paul,

    A blonde man edition…now that’s a twist of blonde jokes. My favorite is the blonde man calling the doctor about his pregnant wife. That one gave me a laugh out loud response. 😀 I also loved the tiger meme ‘goes on a vegan diet’ – great! Thanks for sharing your sense of humor today. Have a laughtastic weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hahaha!!! Especially funny today!

    Liked by 1 person

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