Friday Funnies – I Noah Guy Edition

Friday Funnies jpg

I Noah guy

an ark-noah

Noah-how did elephants meet

Penguin-elephant-ark

little-rock-ark-and-saw

… My all-time favorite explanation of how the dinosaurs died off (repeated):

Noah_and_the_Dinosaurs

More that you’re not likely to find in the Bible:

Moses-Egypt-Shortcut

Jonah-whale-location map

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Coffee-to do list

… speaking of coffee …

Coffee-Just hook it to my veins

puppy

Watch your step

funeral gift

• Blonde Joke du Jour
Confused Blonde
A blonde woman walks into a supermarket, and she goes straight to the bulletin board. The blonde is looking at the bulletin board and she sees a piece of paper that says, “Ocean Cruise Only $5.”

She pulls the piece of paper off the bulletin board and goes to the address listed on the back of paper. She walks into the building and hands the secretary the piece of paper.

The secretary nods and asks if she had the five dollars.

The blonde nods and pulls five dollars out of her purse and hands it to the secretary.

The secretary looks over to a burly guy reading a news paper. She nods to the big burly guy. He stands up and nocks the blonde unconcious.

When the blonde wakes up she’s tied to a log and is floating down a river.

She starts to think that this was a bad idea when she sees one of her freinds (who is also blonde) tied to a log floating right next to her.

Almost jokingly the first blonde looks at her freind and says, “So do you think they’re going to serve us some food on this trip?”

The second blonde replies, “They didn’t serve any last year.”

• Lawyer Joke du Jour *

Shark-Attorney

A New York divorce lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates.

Saint Peter asks him, “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?”
The Lawyer thought a moment then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.”

Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.
Saint Peter said, “Well, that’s fine, but it’s not really quite enough to get you into Heaven.”
The Lawyer said, “Wait, wait! There’s more! I also gave a quarter to a homeless person three years ago..”

Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, “Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?”

Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, “Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell.”

* Lutheran readers will note the “Works Righteousness” embedded in this lawyer joke!

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Bear of bad news

… and whose fault was that? Could it be:

Cat-stovetop fish

… More for you Cat Lovers (Hat tip: Curious as a Cathy for all the cat items today)

cats and mouse

Cat-morning

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• WWLLTM

WWLLTM-tractor-shade

WWLLTM-florescent bulbs

• Floriduh

Floriduh-embarrassment

(This one is a contender for the You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up category!)

floriduh-mcnuggets

• Who Wore It Better?

Who wore it better-onions

… which brings us to
• Separated at Birth

Separated at Birth-Coach Spongebob

• Wedded Bliss
#1 Cause

men-animals-pets

• Mexican Word of the Day

MWOD-Joe Biden

• I Worked For This Guy Once Upon A Time:
(Hat tip: Dilbert)

I worked for this guy once

We close this Friday with this important Announcement about Nutrition:

Bacon_vegetarian

 

4 Comments

Add yours →

  1. BACON!!!!!!! Funny post today!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great funnies! The Noah jokes are spot on with all this wonky wet weather we’ve been having. Luckily we didn’t need an ark this go around but we did get some flooding in March. Thanks for the mention in today’s line up. What a fun surprise. Have a furtastic weekend, my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

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