Friday Funnies – Van Go Edition

Friday Funnies jpg

look at that van go

van gogh-going-gone

This one is especially for Steven Hayward:

starry-night-van-gogh-baconVan Gogh-CNN

van gogh-mona lisa

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… moving now from Van Gogh to Van Morrison:

van-morrison

… and from Vans to Lamborghinis:

Lamborghini

When a tire retires …

A-good-year-or-two.

❧ ❧ ❧Ancient-Skull-Found...

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• Please note the distinction:

bare midriff

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• Hot Cross Puns:
(Hat tip: “B-Squared”)

Some Franciscan Monks were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened a flower shop to raise money. But a rival florist across town resented the competition, and he hired Hugh MacTaggart, the most notorious thug in town, to persuade the friars to close. Hugh threatened the friars and trashed their shop, warning that he’d be back if they didn’t shut down. The terrified Franciscans complied, proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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Roy Rogers rode up on Trigger with his new boots in tatters and a dead cougar draped over his saddle. Dale Evans said, “Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?”

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The human cannonball was getting tired of being shot out of a cannon night after night, so he went to the ringmaster and told him he planned to retire. The ringmaster was stunned. “You can’t retire,” he said. “Where would I ever find another man of your caliber?”

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• Blonde Joke du Jour

Anne O'Dyne

A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, “Why, that’s a thermos…..It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.”

“Wow,” said the blonde, “that’s amazing…..I’m going to buy it!” So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.

Her boss saw it on her desk. “What’s that,” he asked?

“Why, that’s a thermos…. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,” she replied..

Her boss inquired, “What do you have in it?”

The blonde replied……”Two popsicles & some coffee.”

• Wedded Bliss

Wedded Bliss-symbol

Wedded Bliss-flowers

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More News You Can Use:

Cowboy-deranged

Existential threat

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• News Clipping of the Day:

No-accident...

Which brings us to …
• Floriduh

Floriduh-embarrassment

Floriduh woman-alligator in pants

Floriduh_Mayor

• YJCMTSU – She Must Have Been A Floriduh Woman Edition 

YJCMTSU

YJCMTSU-eye contact

More news from Floriduh:

Click >>HERE<<

Floriduh man

This week’s Floriduh Man

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• You Had One Job To Do:

You had 1 job to do

• The Friday Funnies Food & Nutrition Corner

Food Network-PNB

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This is not going to end well

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• Separated at Birth

Separated at Birth-animal

• Who Wore It Better?

who-wore-it-better-strawberry

• WWLLTM

WWLLTM-tractor-shade

WWLLTM-safety-first

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• I Worked For This Guy Once
(Hat tip: Dilbert)

IWFTGO-turnover

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And now, in closing for this Friday:

The-greener-grass...

4 Comments

Add yours →

  1. Eric Butler 05/07/2019 — 00:18

    Eggcellent, (as always) Batman. Eggcellent.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for the morning chuckles!!

    Liked by 1 person

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